(Brownsville, TX) – A young mother of two-year-old twins reports that her daily bowel movement is now the only time she gets alone anymore. Peggy Botham, 27, says [...]
(Stockholm, Sweden) In what many are seeing as a long-overdue honor, Gene Simmons will be awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for his “towering contributions to humanity, [...]
Long, long ago, in the dark year of ’99, a new kind of horror movie was unleashed. With its pseudo-homemade, documentary-style appearance, The Blair Witch Project [...]
On August 16, 2016, Madonna will turn 58 years old. This means that she has been alive for 21, 170 days. With human beings defecating an average of once [...]
(Cleveland, OH) In a scathing assessment of the national economy, presidential candidate Donald J. Trump stated last night that his administration would, in an effort to [...]
(Arlington, Ma.) An annual Greek festival in a Boston suburb grew tensely silent when an ancient nemesis unexpectedly walked in, causing some attendees to leave early in [...]
(Brookline, Ma.) A local serial burglar expressed awed dismay at having to search for a key to break in and rob a local apartment. “I had gotten a lead from a buddy of [...]
(Washington, DC) – A common North American bird species has announced that it is seeking to legally change its name. The Tufted titmouse, a small, gray-blue member of the [...]
(New York, New York)- In an astounding economic and public relations move, the New York Public Library has announced that it will open an on-site petting zoo later this [...]
(Boston, Ma.) – A 28-year-old Boston man managed to raise his waste basket jump shot aim to a career high .393 over this past weekend. Mark Witherspoon, 28, of [...]
(Crimson Neck, N.H.) – Police in a small New Hampshire town shot an escaped chinchilla down from a tree Monday afternoon, sparking outcry from animal rights [...]
Baseball season started again last week, the beginning of a long, 162-game slog over a six month period. Die-hard fans settle in to follow every little sub-plot of major [...]
Boston, Ma. – Local after-work party girl Melanie Hanson experienced a life-changing event at popular watering hole The Crusty Crab this past Tuesday, when her [...]
Let’s face it, guys: you owe her a chick flick once in awhile. You recently dragged her to Creed and The Hateful Eight, and in the more distant past put her through [...]