Rating the Rocky Montages by Cleanliness

Rocky I

Ding, ding. That’s the start of round 1 and being done. Get your legs in the sit up position. These are the dirtiest moments in the Rocky I Training montage

  • Those grey sweat pants: They look dirty and covered in meat tenderizer.
  • While going on his jogs there’s a trash can on fire. That’s not safe for the public.
  • Also everything is kinda grey.
  • Philadelphia 1976. That’s pretty dirty.
  • Dirty guitar is playing in the background

On a scale from a Raccoon to Rococo for being dirty, I’ll give it a Rook


Good for playing, bad boxing

Rocky II

Round 2 is here babes and babies! After the defeat from Apollo Creed, Rocky is back to train on the B Train (The boxing train). Training includes more dirty deli meats and golden gloves. Since there are two Montages, I’m going to divide this into 2 parts. These are the dirtiest moments in the Rocky II, 1st Training montage

Rocky II: 1st Montage

  • Rocky has a baby now, meaning he probably has poop on his chin a lot more than usual.
  • Has been downgraded to a dumpster and playground to train in.
  • Burgess Meredith has a raspier voice. Probably popped an eye ball from screaming so much.
  • Speed is said so often. It was the 70’s so chances are they were talking about the drug. This was before the doping scandals we’re all used to.

On a scale from a Fig Tree to a Weeping Willow for being dirty, I give it Basil

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Good for cooking. Bad for smoking

Rock II 2nd Montage

  • Wished good luck by train conductor. Train conductors are known for being covered in coal
  • Trash can from Rocky I is still on fire.
  • Little kids start following him. His son + these kids following him are indefinitely going to give him a cold. If you were a kid born before 1980 you were riddled with germs.

On a scale from a Kindergarten Scissors to a fountain pen for being dirty, I give it a letter opener


Good for Hogwarts acceptance letters

Stay Tuned for Rocky III and then some!!

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