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Packie Posts

Dumb laws that are no longer enforced. This weeks state is Tennessee.

Last week we took a look at some of the stupid laws on the books in Massachusetts. By request I have turned my attention to the interesting state of Tennessee.

When you find a state where giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law, you know you’re in for a special treat.

Are female motorists in Tennessee bad? Someone in Memphis didn’t have a lot of faith in them. No worries ladies. If you want to drive your car legally, you DON’T need a man to accompany you in it. It’s nothing like that. You just need a man to be either running or walking in front of the car waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.

Considering that Tennessee is landlocked, I didn’t exactly picture it having laws regarding aquatic life. However,  you can’t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. I’m fine with that! If you see a living breathing whale in Tennessee as your driving, clearly they are starting to evolve and need to be put down. Or you are smoking the wrong shit. Also, it’s illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. Since the idea of that seems like the most inefficient thing I have ever heard of in my entire life, I’m going to argue that you should be rewarded if you do.

shooting-whale

Drive faster! That whale is gaining on us.

Personally, I think women should ask men out on dates from time to time. Why the hell should we always be the ones to chase? Well, I don’t expect it to happen now and it apparently shouldn’t happen in Dyersburg Tennessee where it is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date. People in Dyresburg must also be a bunch of stupid hippies since it’s illegal  to throw bottles at trees.

If you live in Oneida & enjoy old campfire songs, be careful!  An ordinance forbids anyone to sing the song “It ain’t goin’ to rain No Mo’. Since I’m not familiar with the song, I went to Youtube to listen to the lyrics. Maybe someone important was pissed off cause it makes the elderly sound stupid when part of the chorus goes “how in the world can the old folks tell it ain’t gonna rain no mo’” The lyrics also mention that he has a “pretty little wife and her name is Jenni” Maybe someone important had a wife named Jenni and he ended up hating her?

guitar-fire

Damnt Bill! Don’t play that song! Stop right now before you get another 2-5 in prison!

Kids have it rough in Tennessee. Students may not hold hands while still at school. In Nashville,  it’s against the law to play pinball if you are under the age of 18. Yes, pinball the coin operated game where you hit the ball up and is typically in an arcade. I thought this might have been slang for something dirty, but nope just plain ordinary pinball.

Hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned for more states in the coming weeks. (source)

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-Adam Mallett

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