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Packie Posts

America’s top fortune cookie writer quitting due to writers block.

Fortune Cookie

Apparently, coming up with clever things to say in an fortune cookie is a real job. Donald Lau has been doing it for 30 years. However, he is now stepping down as “Chief Fortune Writer” at Wonton Foods, due to writers block.

This guy is either the most positive man in the world or the biggest psychopath. I don’t think I could make a career out of typing positive messages & fortunes all day.  I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but life isn’t always a bouquet of roses. You occasionally hit a speed bump. If life was getting me down, I might find it difficult to stay positive. As a result, some of those batches might carry some questionable messages. I might be less likely to type something like “Look in the right places; you will find some good offerings.” & more likely to type something like “You look fat in that shirt today.”

I have noticed a dip in the quality of the fortunes in my cookies over the years. I’m not kidding. I once had a fortune cookie that read “You like chinese fortune cookies.” That’s not even a fortune or advice! It’s an assumption! That signals to me that they aren’t even trying anymore. Maybe they truly are all out of ideas.

Lau has past the torch to another employee. I don’t blame him. 30 years is 29 years longer than I could have done this job. (source)

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-Adam Mallett

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