It’s ridiculous! The highest ranked local law enforcement agency in Texas is looking for Tom Brady’s missing jersey.

Super bowl 51 will go down in history for several reasons, but I don’t want to talk about the historic game itself. Shortly after the game, Tom Brady noticed that someone had stolen his game jersey from his bag. The state of Texas is helping with the investigation of the theft. However, I find it a bit ridiculous that the Texas Rangers (not the baseball team) are part of this investigation.

The Texas Ranger Divison has a deep history in the state. According to Wikipedia, “Over the years the Texas Rangers have investigated crimes ranging from murder to political corruption, acted in riot control and as detectives, protected the governor of Texas, tracked down fugitives and functioned as a paramilitary force at the service of both the Republic (1836-45) and the State of Texas.” Sounds badass right? 

I’m not saying this shouldn’t be investigated. It’s a theft of something that is worth a lot of money. However, if you were a ranger, wouldn’t you feel like this was beneath you? Don’t they have more pressing matters? If I was a parent of a missing child in Texas, I would be pissed that they are devoting these resources so that a multi millionaire can get a piece of polyester back. Let’s not forget, he still gets a ring too!


The best of Texas are on the hunt for a piece of polyester.

It’s not like the person who stole it can really do anything with it except look at it. There is only one jersey! Bragging about it would only get you caught. Selling it would be almost impossible. I love when people say “well the person could sell it on the black market.” It’s such a cop out thing to say. Very few people have true black market connections. He is more likely to get caught thinking he’s selling it on the black market. One of the great things about owning something so priceless is to show it off to friends and other collectors. You can’t do that with this. It would be highly unlikely someone would pay a ton of money for this only to keep it to themselves forever.

The jersey will more than likely end up back in Tom Brady’s hands very soon. They don’t need the best of Texas law enforcement looking into it.

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-Adam Mallett

About whirlwind (262 Articles)
Movie Reviews and non P.C. takes on ridiculous stories from around the world.

1 Comment on It’s ridiculous! The highest ranked local law enforcement agency in Texas is looking for Tom Brady’s missing jersey.

  1. Fuck Tom Brady and fuck his stupid jersey.

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