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Mariah Carey & her memorable New Year’s Eve performance.

NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 31: Mariah Carey performs onstage during New Year's Eve 2017 in Times Square at Times Square on December 31, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images)

Many events that took place in 2016 were odd and interesting. We had an election that exploded into a complete circus. The British exited the European Union. A more than usual number of high profile celebrity deaths took place. Emails were hacked. The Cubs won the World Series. So when New Year’s Eve rolled around, I expected 2016 to take one final jab at us before the calendar rolled over. It didn’t disappoint. Mariah Carey delivered a performance that will be talked about for quite some time.

You saw it. I don’t need to walk you through it. What I find hilarious is how her team and Dick Clark Productions are now pointing fingers at each other. The Carey camp is crying out that she was sabotaged for ratings by being supplied with shitty equipment. “Dick Clark Production sources tell TMZ … “Mariah’s “sabotage” claim is “silly,” seeing how she’s the one who decided not to do a sound check, and had a stand-in do it instead. They also say there were 8 monitors on stage amplifying sound, so even without an inner ear, Mariah should have been able to hear just fine. They add Mariah changed her story … initially saying the track was wrong. Our Dick Clark sources insist her camp provided the track list.” I think I am going to side with Dick Clark Productions on this. Why would Dick Clark Productions risk hurting their reputation just to have a viral moment?

Mariah Carey is one of the biggest divas in the business & is known for her outlandish demands. She even has a list of ridiculous dating rules. Apparently, she will only have sex on a Monday!? Why Monday? If I was forced to pick one day of the week for sexy time, Monday would be my last option. I’m not kidding. If want to read about that, you can click this link (source)

monday

So now that we have a picture of the kind of person we are dealing with, I’m willing to bet she expected everything to be done and perfect by the time she hit the stage. When it wasn’t, she decided to mail it in. Even if her earpiece sucked and she was having trouble hearing the background track, she couldn’t wing it? Hasn’t she performed these songs thousands of times in front of huge crowds before? I won’t get on her for lip syncing though. We all know artists do this during similar performances, but did she need to make it look so horrible? She should be able to know these songs in her sleep. She needed a damn prompter!? Is she getting dementia at 46? Her background dancers obviously showed up for rehearsals. They didn’t seem to have an issue sticking with the music. Wait, back up a second! She’s 46 years old? Why the hell is she dressed like Ariana Grande? Don’t get me wrong, she looks great with all that makeup holding her face together, but I simply don’t want to see a 46 year old dressed like this.

Her ex-husband Nick Cannon stated that he is still ‘proud’ of her for doing her best. (source) That’s the kind of thing a parent says to her child when he literally shits himself on stage during a 1st grade talent show. I’m also calling bullshit on this. He was probably laughing his ass off, but is playing nice in the hopes that she will send him a check.

Mariah Carey’s performance was an awkwardly hilarious mess that has people pointing fingers at each other. It seems rather fitting for the year to end this way doesn’t it? I know I can’t think of a better way to describe 2016 as a whole.

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-Adam Mallett

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