Current Standings 9/27/16
Week 4 Match ups
Game 1: My Nickname in High School (2-1) vs Supersonic Swifty Sloths (3-0)
Well this is an Average 6 match up part 2. Joey, who as i stated before once accused produce of being lazy, has somehow found his way to a 3-0 start. Beginners luck for this veteran. A big ass Andrew Luck horse shoe deep in the asshole has got him this far, and he doesn’t even have Luck. I see him doing a 2007 pats and loosing to me in the Super Bowl. My teams struggling to stay a float. It’s like a cruise ship sinking in the Atlantic and i can barely keep up with getting rid of the water. I rather be on a Malaysian airliner then be on my team. Big Ben for me has turned out to be quite the ass clown. I hope your enjoying Prescott Joey, if I know anything about Dallas Cow Girl QBs, they are made of ice cream. Once they heat up they get hot and sticky and….. sorry letting my mind of erotica slipping away.
Game 2: Team Padolsky (2-1) vs Team Rudolph (2-1)
The first match up of the ladies this week. A solid 2-1 start for both of these teams and putting magic in everyone’s pants, even chubby Matt Monaco, who thinks a treadmill is a new ice cream bar from Friendly’s. This week we have a battle of the really tanned QBs. Wilson and Newton, both cry babies who can’t seem to stay on the field these days. Its week 3 and the playoff race always looks like its going to be interested for MOST teams. Watch out for Erica, it actually looks like she knows what she is doing. Matt seems to be figuring it out as well. I hear young girls makes a fantasy team go strong, and he is living proof of that.
Game 3: Team Monaco (0-3) vs Arch Dingo (0-3)
Here’s a mighty match up of two of the 3 biggest donuts in our league. Matt lay off the food your sexy plus sized model you. I guess Andrew Luck, isn’t that lucky huh guy? Joe was last years champ of the league and for some reason can’t even get 1 win. You got 0-4 you might as well hope you win the consolidation game and get those Celtic tickets. Joey is frantically making trades to get his team out of the hole but when you have chubby man, and not Matty, but Stafford as your QB, the hole is round. Hey what do you call a guy with no arms and legs who is in a hole? Phil. The one good thing is someone has to win right?
Game 4: The First Lady (0-3) vs Team Chadwell(2-1)
Speaking of people with no wins, here is number 3 herself, the first lady and queen of the goose egg, Miss Suzi J. Like her beloved Saints, the two share a similar record. Jake the cop or the tri pod as he noted in a previous group text, and that would be the 11 person text not the 10 that joey seems to really enjoy. The first lady is going to be in rough shape with Vereen out for the season, Drew Brees hair line extends further back that his throwing range and Gronk who still has 0 points all year. Jake got the better looking Manning who is on fire. Will Suzi J go 0-4 or will she save her season and crawl into the playoffs?
Game 5: Team Hammer Slammers (1-2) vs Green River Killers (2-1)
Adam is going to hammer slam his baby arm into the world of Jesus. Adam was once removed from a Kingdom Hall because he was to flashy with his beliefs in fried chicken. Seattle Green, aka Joey C will try to move to 3-1 and close in on the gold which is the playoffs. On paper this looks like it will be a close game, the ginger vs the river. Magical. Almost magical as a night out with Joey C in Seattle with the wind hitting the right way, or as magical has a night out with Adam when he goes on one of his rants about being the middle child in the Arty and Eric love affair.
Game 6: Team Polk High (1-2) vs It’s Brittany Bitch (3-0)
How the Fuck is Britt 3-0? Like for real is this a good damn joke? Did she hack this shit? With Blake Bortles no less. She is like my mom playing fantasy football. You get lucky quick then your luck will run out. Jay finally found a way to win a game, but it will take a lot more than just beating the first lady to get some playoff magic. Britt is projected to loose and i bet she goes on a 3 game loosing streak starting Thursday, but we shall see.
Arty being a nice guy
So I am a nice guy, I don’t care what you read on bathroom walls of truck stops from coast to coast, I am. To keep people playing even if they stink, I am throwing in Celtics Tickets for the team who wins the consolidation bracket in the playoffs, meaning the best looser so keep that in mind. Your welcome sexy people,
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