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Greek Festival Goes Silent As Minotaur Walks In

(Arlington, Ma.) An annual Greek festival in a Boston suburb grew tensely silent when an ancient nemesis unexpectedly walked in, causing some attendees to leave early in fear.

The Minotaur, a grotesque half-man, half-bull monstrosity, nonchalantly entered the tent, and clip-clopped up to the nearest bar to order a Heinekin. The lively, boisterous crowd allegedly stopped the music and dance, instead staring in dumbstruck awe, their worry beads clicking in the still night air.

“Zeus Almighty, we were all in shock. You could hear a pin drop,” said event organizer Dmitri Milonopolous. “We thought that thing was dead. Theseus had killed it. And then later we had its whole cave bulldozed shut.  Pardon my Greek, but all we could say was ‘what the fuck?’.

Oblivious to its impact on the occasion, the half-ton beast then proceeded to sit at a nearby table, sipping its drink and eating some abandoned Baklava. When the band nervously resumed playing, the Minotaur was seen rhythmically tapping its hoof. After being turned down to dance by several local beauties, the mythological monster allegedly asked for directions to a local china shop, then drove off in a Hummer, horns protruding through the sun roof.

When asked why the unwanted visitor wasn’t asked to leave, Milonopolous replied, “It’s a different time…and a different place. If this was back in the old country we’d have run him through with a spear, but here we have to be sensitive to issues of diversity. We don’t want any controversy. Still, we sure as hell don’t want him coming back.”

The Minotaur was last seen heading west on Route 2.

-Jonathan Donahue

 

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