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Packie Posts

Hidden Key Slows Burglar Down Thirty Seconds

(Brookline, Ma.) A local serial burglar expressed awed dismay at having to search for a key to break in and rob a local apartment.

“I had gotten a lead from a buddy of mine.  He said this place was always left unlocked. He lives across the street and had been scoping the place,” said Thomas Bush of Everett, now being held at the Middlesex County Jail.

Not realizing he’d have to find another means of entry, Bush panicked. “I totally freaked when the door was locked.  I knew that I was going to have to do something else. The first thing I thought of was to look for a key.”

Bush began looking under objects on the porch, his apprehension growing. “With every second, I knew I was losing precious time. I could feel the sweat running down my back. At around twenty-five seconds I thought about bailing.”

With astonishing persistence, however, Bush turned over a flower pot right next to the door, and saw what he desired: a gleaming gold key. He was in the apartment moments later.

“I’m telling you, it was pure genius to hide it there. I lost thiry seconds. A lot can happen in that amount of time: cops get called, people come home, who the hell knows?”

The victim, Sandra Kaufman, expressed horror at the turn of events.  “I have kept that key there for four years with no problems. I just can’t believe someone found it. I totally can’t get over it.”

Bush made off with two laptops and a TV before being apprehended by local police, when he doubled back to the apartment to flush the toilet after urinating in it.  “I felt bad about just leaving it there, you know,” said Bush. “That thirty seconds I lost over the key really did me in, in the end.”

The burglar awaits a hearing on June 15 at Cambridge District Court.

-Jonathan Donahue, Staff Reporter

 

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