We have all been on dates before. Some are memorable, others you would rather forget. However, sometimes a date is so bad it is laughably funny and worth mentioning for entertainment purposes. Over the years I have gone on quite a few of these. The first story I would like to share with you I call……..
Drinking & Diabetes is Something to Cry About
A couple years ago, I was meeting up with this girl who I had met in the city while I was out and about one night. We had talked and texted throughout the week and decided to meet at this lounge in the city for a drink or two. I can’t remember the name of the lounge. It was a classy looking place though. She was sitting at the bar when I arrived. She apparently worked down the street and she was chatting with a middle aged woman next to her, who I guess works at the office across the street from her. The middle aged woman was there waiting for a date also but he hadn’t arrived yet.
So my date and I break away from the bar and go to our own little spot and start chatting about the week and all that typical crap that we all talk about. After about twenty minutes or so the middle aged woman walks over to our booth and says how she is nervous because she hasn’t been on a date in so long. She asked if when he arrives we can all get a table together. This is a little odd. Technically, that’s four strangers sitting at a table. All of us are on first dates, but I will role with it. Sometimes something seems so weird and off to me I just need to see what happens next. My date and I looked at each other confused but just kinda agreed. So while the middle aged woman went back to grab her coat at the bar, I looked at my date and asked. “sooo do you know this woman at all?” She said, “no I’ve seen her before but we have never talked until about five minutes before you walked in the door.” So she joins us.
A few minutes later her date arrives. He was also middle aged. He was dressed in a suit and tie and carrying roses. It was very old school. He sits down with us and the situation gets explained. The middle aged woman explains to him that we are her friends and she ran into us and thought it would be nice if we all joined together. I don’t know why she lied or even why the hell she joined us. Did she really feel like it would be that uncomfortable for her to get her own table with this guy? Anyway, despite us all being strangers we actually started having a good time together, but at some point “Mr. suit and tie” decided he wanted to sound impressive. Maybe it was the booze talking, but the next thing he says is “I use to run this city. Ya know what! you guys get whatever you want! I got this. It’s all on me!” So my date and I pretty much shared the same thinking process at this point which was “sure fuck it! why not!” If your going to make a stupid statement like that and want to act like a big shot lets put you to the test We start ordering tons of food and drinks. Keep in mind, this place isn’t cheap. An order of just french fries…sorry I mean gourmet french fries (so stupid) was $18. I think at some point during the night I was also drinking beer out of a wine glass. I have no idea how that happened. My date and I are having an awesome time drinking and dining at someone else’s expense in the heart of the city at a classy place.
She is snuggled up next to me and we are holding hands. Finally, dinner had come to an end. You must be asking yourself, Adam this doesn’t sound bad at all. Where does the horror come in? It’s coming, believe me.
Have you ever looked back at a moment where you were having so much fun but you now realize the exact moment where you should have said goodnight, but instead you didn’t quit while you were ahead because you were having so much fun. Looking back, this was that moment for me. This is why I’m shitty at gambling. Know when to walk away when on top! The older couple goes there separate ways. I should have also.
My date then tells me she is taking the ‘T’ home. I volunteer to drive her. She accepts and tells me her best friend is having a birthday party at the bar down the street from where she lives and we could stop their for a drink. I agree. (bad idea) We walk into this bar. The bar was Stats in Southie. I hate this place. The second we walk in the door her “best friend” walks up to her and asks “What the fuck are you doing here?!” Sooo I’m no genius, but if your “best friend” is greeting you like that, clearly you and I have a different opinion about what a best friend is. So her “friend” is now pissed and angry and storms off to the other end of the bar. My date follows her and is trying hard to speak to her. I get left just standing there at a table with my drink. I told myself “after this drink, I’m gone!” I get to the bottom of my glass and I can’t see my date anywhere. I was about to leave when I notice her at a table by herself crying. I walk over and ask her what the hell is going on. She then starts hysterically crying and telling me that she is super worried about her friend and how she is going to die soon because her friend is a diabetic and when she drinks she sometimes doesn’t take her shot. Then she told me a story about how her friend was passed out in the bathroom once and she had to inject her. From this point on she just kept hysterically crying out “She’s gonna die Adam! She’s gonna die! She doesn’t care Adam! She’s gonna die!” I remember asking her to stop saying that out loud because it was attracting attention. I thought about leaving her, but I couldn’t leave a drunk crying girl. Instead, I convinced her we needed to go. On the way out though she grabbed the wrong purse from the wrong chair. A girl grabbed her just before we were about to exit and said “Hey give me back my purse bitch!” My date was confused and slightly irritated and fired back “this is my purse your stupid bitch! Fuck off!” As you can see, the night is getting classier by the minute. So I stepped in. After putting it together I realized she grabbed from the wrong chair. Both purses were almost identical. It was an honest drunk mistake. I drove her home. She was crying so much. I think we sat in my car for about an hour while I listened to her say the same stuff over and over about how her friend is going to die. This was killing me. The sun was coming up, my shoulder was being used as a kleenex & I had to work in a couple hours. Finally, we said goodnight. Shockingly, there was no second date.
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