Packie Posts

Movie Review: Criminal

Is Criminal a crime against humanity? -Steven Richard K

This is another dumb action movie that no one will remember. Nothing really remarkable.

The whole time I was wondering why Kevin Costner was the lead of this movie. Why not pretty much anyone else? Nicholas Cage would have been great at this one.

Tommy Lee Jones plays Tommy Lee Jones who is a brain scientist.

Two guys a girl and a pizza place is a CIA agent running to or from something and then he gets killed and then they need to transplant his memories into the brain of another dude to get information. Oh the dude they do it to is a bad guy who is bad and is a psychopath. (You should read Jon Ronson’s psychopath book for a good time.)

Then some action stuff happens that I don’t remember.

Can I call that actress a Chelsea perreti lookalike? Is that a thing?

Seriously, why Costner?

Directed fine. Didn’t feel long. Cheesy and dumb. Sort of entertaining.

I can’t help but feel like I just wasted two hours of my life watching this movie. Sure it was a good dumb thing to just watch and entertain me but you know what we’re all going to die someday and why did I watch this movie. I could’ve been doing something else instead of watching this movie.

I came back to polish this review a few days after I saw this flick. One of the first things I wrote was how forgettable this movie was. Wow was I right, a few days later and I remember almost nothing about it.

TLDR: 2/5 I guess it was not that good but I don’t really remember.

If you’re interested in Movie Pass click here to get Steven the referral credit.

Steven Richard K is the host of the Search for a Cohost podcast ( and a member of the sketch group Mister Bismuth.

Follow Steven on Twitter@StevenRichardK.

About Steven Richard K (150 Articles)
This is a place for me to put things that I wrote.

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