Stupid internet conspiracy theorists believe Katy Perry is really JonBenet Ramsey.

Unless you lived under a rock or hadn't been born yet, the JonBenet Ramsey investigation involved the murder of a six year old girl in the late 90's.  It is still unsolved. Now a 2014 Youtube video has it all figured out!

 These “obvious experts” state in the video,  “Nobody died, nobody got hurt. That sacrifice was in name only, and that was to get something, and that something was to become a star. JonBenet became Katy Perry, and that’s a fact.” Because he said “that’s a fact” it must be true! (source)

Even if I entertain this idea for a minute, it makes zero sense. So, her death was faked so she could become a star as Katy Perry? Why couldn’t she grow up to become a star as JonBenet? Since her death would have been faked, it’s not like she would have been able to use that as publicity to become famous later. Like, “hey remember me! I’m was that little girl in the media whose death was faked when I was six so I could become famous under a different name.” Also, its not like her parents could show her off to record producers saying “our daughter was JonBenet” Changing her identity would have no point.  Do you follow me on this?

I always like to point out, if you are going to shout out “conspiracy,” you need to take into account how many people it would take to keep this quiet. Katy Perry is very high profile and some asshole on youtube figured it out by simply comparing some photos? If this is “a fact” I guess he has turned over every stone and interviewed her childhood friends or uncovered some sort of strange documents that don’t add up?

People really are bored these days. These people need to go outside and find a women! If you are going to come up with a conspiracy, make sure you’ve thought it out.

In reality, Katy Perry is a girl who sang religious music and nobody bought her records until she started singing about kissing a girl. That was the beginning of her fame. The end.

-Adam Mallett

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About whirlwind (262 Articles)
Movie Reviews and non P.C. takes on ridiculous stories from around the world.

2 Comments on Stupid internet conspiracy theorists believe Katy Perry is really JonBenet Ramsey.

  1. Yes, the dumbing down of America is doing very well. Better than anyone hoped.

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