The Granite State has a burning desire to ‘Live Free or Die.’ And by ‘Live Free or Die,’ they mean bang some pro slooters and drive some liquor into teenagers.
Ok, New Hampshire’s state motto was actually derived from a toast sent from General John Stark via letter in commemoration of the anniversary of the Battle of Bennington; an event which he was too ill to attend. “Live Free or die: Death is not the worst of evils,” it read. Two New Hampshire representatives have taken to heart what General Stark fought for in the Revolutionary War and introduced two individual bills that would propose an expansion to their constituents’ civil liberties.
Max Abramson, a republican representative from Seabrook NH, has proposed a change in the state’s drinking age from 21 to 18 years old. There is a bit of a caveat, though. A person aged 18-20 would have to be in supervision of another person who is at least 22 years old and can not drink hard liquor. Abramson’s rationale is essentially that it would lower teen alcoholism and “Come on guys, everyone is Europe does it!” This seems weird and destined to fail; no one should ever let a 22 year old be in charge of the supervision of another human being while drunk. Isn’t this what frats and sororities pretty much already do? How is that working out for ya? Good luck making sure other immaturely impressionable, yet minimum age required, young adults don’t funnel some Old Grandad’s 100 Proof right into your high school senior child’s bread basket. Also, you know what is worse than a 21 year old drunk at a bar? An 18, 19 or 20 year old drunk at the bar.
The other bill, introduced by Democratic New Hampshire State Representative from Hillsborough, Elizabeth Edwards, has it’s aim focused on decriminalizing prostitution between consensual adults. In the advent of Uber, AirBnB, Fiverr and Craigslist, this makes sense. You can whore out every other aspect of your life, so why not be able to employ yourself in the world’s oldest profession without fear of reprisal from law enforcement? The government will let you sell cigarettes and guns but god forbid you give someone a dry handy at a Flying J truck stop for a sawbuck. Just think of all the Whore Apps there will be! If you thought Tinder was sweet, imagine cutting out all of the work! Don’t fear if your date doesn’t put out. You could just fire up your mobile phone and tap your way to a night filled with sins of the flesh to quell your unfulfilled, burning desires. Not to mention, this would be quite the novel idea to -ahem- stimulate the economy.
Along with the fact that last week another bill was introduced to make dumping out your titties in public (females only) a crime, this is just another couple of logs on the New Hampshire fire. The deep south of the north strikes again. What else do you expect when you share a border with the French Canadiens? Tell ’em about it, Old Hat.