More Ridiculous Sex Positions – Part 2

By popular demand, I have dug deep on the internet and discovered more stupid sex positions. If you attempt them and endup in the E.R. don’t come crying to me. You have been warned.

The backdoor Cartwheel

Ok, if you want to tell me that you can use your head and hands to balance upside down, I will give you the benefit of the doubt. However, if you want to tell me you can do that and screw at the same time, I am calling bullshit on that. There is no possible way you could get this position to work and actually enjoy it.

backdoor-cartwheel1

IS the blood rushing more to your head or your man parts?

 

 

The Headspinner

What on gods earth is this!? Are they under water or something? Who is spinning who? What is going on in this diagram? I am hurting my neck just looking at it and trying to understand. First of all, anything that involves a spin is just a bad idea. Don’t go twisting your privates after you penetrate. Just don’t do it. Second, how are they balancing? Is this how brake dancers have sex? Who has the floor space to attempt this without tumbling down and smacking a limb on a piece of furniture or bed post? How can you generate speed and momentum???!!!!! How damnt!? I have so many questions!!!!!

the-headspinner

Looks more like they are either drowning together or falling out of an airplane.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Pogo Stick

You have got to be kidding me! Common! this can’t be a real thing. I’ve heard of “The pogo stick” before but not this version. Is your bed reinforced like you are in a wrestling ring because I have no idea what it would take to generate that kind of bounce and still stay inside my partner. Plus, I love this drawing of the bed. It looks like it has the bounce capabilities of a concrete sidewalk. If you try this, you deserve to get injured.

pogo

Welcome to the WWE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, check it out  http://thepackie.com/2015/10/27/7-ridiculous-sex-positions/

By Adam Mallett

Follow me on twitter: https://twitter.com/whirlwindreport

About whirlwind (262 Articles)
Movie Reviews and non P.C. takes on ridiculous stories from around the world.

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