Say goodbye to that beach bod, because McDonald’s is planning on adding mozzarella sticks to their “Dollar Menu and More” selections . They are also parlaying this into five week promotion dubbed the McPick 2 that allows you to choose two items, either mozzarella sticks & dipping sauce, small french fries, McChicken chicken burger, and a McDouble cheeseburger, for two dollars.
Well this is bad news. I am going to have to stay away from McDonald’s forever now because not only do they offer all day breakfast, but they are now slinging pre-fried, restaurant baked sticks of cheese and red sauce (let’s not call it marinara, it just doesn’t seem right) for me to shove in my face hole. There is no way I can make it out of Mickey D’s without at an order of Mozz sticks, McDouble, Sausage Egg & Cheese McGriddle, hash browns, cinnamon melts and a large Diet Coke on the receipt. Let’s be honest, if they are only a dollar, I am probably gonna get two orders of mozz sticks. What kind of lunatic only eats three? Six or bust. I pretty much need to say goodbye forever to McDonald’s or else I will have to forever view my penis with the assistance of a mirror. I don’t have that type of self control and don’t need that kind of pressure in my life. Thanks a lot McDonald’s… for pushing me away forever.