McDonald’s To Add Mozzarella Sticks To Dollar Menu

Say goodbye to that beach bod.

Say goodbye to that beach bod, because McDonald’s is planning on adding mozzarella sticks to their “Dollar Menu and More” selections . They are also parlaying this into five week promotion dubbed the McPick 2 that allows you to choose two items, either mozzarella sticks & dipping sauce, small french fries, McChicken chicken burger, and a McDouble cheeseburger, for two dollars.

Well this is bad news. I am going to have to stay away from McDonald’s forever now because not only do they offer all day breakfast, but they are now slinging pre-fried, restaurant baked sticks of cheese and red sauce (let’s not call it marinara, it just doesn’t seem right) for me to shove in my face hole. There is no way I can make it out of Mickey D’s  without at an order of Mozz sticks, McDouble, Sausage Egg & Cheese McGriddle, hash browns, cinnamon melts and a large Diet Coke on the receipt. Let’s be honest, if they are only a dollar, I am probably gonna get two orders of mozz sticks. What kind of lunatic only eats three? Six or bust.  I pretty much need to say goodbye forever to McDonald’s or else I will have to forever view my penis with the assistance of a mirror. I don’t have that type of self control and don’t need that kind of pressure in my life. Thanks a lot McDonald’s… for pushing me away forever.

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