Packie Posts

Movie Review: The Peanuts Movie

Why Snoopy should be dropping napalm out of his dog house. -Steven Richard K

My plan was to the new James Bond movie, Spectre, which also came out today but the traffic didn’t cooperate and also my wife was coming along and she prefers children’s movies. Also, if I went to The Peanuts Movie by myself during the day time they probably would put me on a list of some sort.

When I saw the preview for The Peanuts Movie, I was not on board. The cheesy uses of pop music to try to make it seem “hip” and “cool” was stupid. The times they decided I should have been laughing during the trailer made me mad. The advertisements for this movie are everywhere! I would love to know how much they dropped on that. Their integration with Facebook, the way they got people to advertise for them by allowing you to make a Peanuts version of yourself was brilliant. I don’t have high hopes for this flick. But hey. Thanks movie pass.

Right now this is also getting higher reviews than Spectre, so we’ll see. (I’ll let you know how Specter is probably on Monday.)

Another thing to note: I came to a children’s movie at 3pm on a Friday. I anticipate that I am going to be frustrated at humans of various sizes making noises with their mouth holes.

If you like cartoon violence/ physical comedy but think Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry and all the great physical comedy cartoon comedy’s were a little too violent, this movie is for you.

This movie was just not for me. It is not at all clever. They sort of tried with some of their book humor but it was just boring. You can make good clever kids movies. How to Train you Dragon was awesome. The Lego Movie was amazing! Almost everything Pixar!

In the middle of the movie there is a quick clip of the Chicken Dance. I never walk out of movies but I considered it. (It’s a personal hatred.) In 2007, I was invited to a friend’s college graduation party in Clinton’s very own Polish-American Hall. They rented a DJ who was spinning some of the worst songs known to man. I made a comment early on how horrible he was and that once “The Chicken Dance” came on I would stand up from the table and leave the party without saying a word. Less than 45 minutes later, true to my word, I was gone.

I enjoyed and appreciated the occasional line drawings/ insertions of the original cartoon drawings they put in there. I didn’t enjoy it enough.

I just wanted to point out that this movie is a work of fiction. In real life, if you get a perfect score on a standardized test, your peers don’t idolize you and hail you as a hero and want to become you. After Charlie Brown became the most popular kid in school because he did so well in the test, his sister got into merchandizing. She went ape shit selling shirts in the style that he wears and hats with his face on it. Just like, I’m sure, whoever the merchandising rights in real life is praying to Satan will happen after this movie comes out.

The Red Baron came about in the snoopy cartoons approximately 50 years after the start of WWI and I believe is a little outdated and the time has come to switch it out. If they wanted to keep with the theme of glorifying wars from 50 years ago, Snoopy should have been using his dog house to drop napalm upon women and children in the jungles of Vietnam.

Despite the amount of plane crashes that occur in this film, I found that there was a minimal amount of blood. I would be interested to find out what the body count was on this movie. Also, I don’t think Charlie Brown would have survived being crushed by all those books in the library.

Another fact I was surprised to find out, turns out Linus grows up to be noted character actor Ben Mendelsohn. (Danny from Bloodline, Animal Kingdom, Dark Knight Rises)(If you know who he is that’s a pretty solid joke, trust me.)

I was also surprised to find out that the sequel is slated to come out on Christmas. Rather than go with the obvious title Peanuts 2, they decided to call it Concussion. It stars Will Smith and it seems like it’s a bit grittier. It focuses more on the storyline where Charlie Brown receives too much brain damage after falling down so much after missing the kick of the football and the powers that be are hesitant to the fact that there is something larger going on.

(After I finished writing this I watched Inside Out which came out on DVD today. It was 100X better than The Peanuts Movie and if you haven’t seen it I would reccomend checking it out instead.)

TLDR: 1/5. I hated this movie. Skip it. This was a waste of my time. I never got nostalgia for Peanuts so watching this movie which was a compilation of some of their “best stuff” to try to get you excited because you recognize references along with a bit of new stuff was boring to me. If you have kids maybe it will be nice to show them something new recycled from stuff you used to enjoy.

Steven Richard K is the host of the Search for a Cohost podcast ( and a member of the sketch group Mister Bismuth. Follow Steven on Twitter @StevenRichardK.

If you’re interested in Movie Pass click here to get Steven the referral credit.

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About Steven Richard K (150 Articles)
This is a place for me to put things that I wrote.

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