Your local diabetes retailer, Dunkin’ Donuts, has released their new holiday cup design, all while making a jerking off hand motion, spraying in the face of Starbucks. DD isn’t afraid to keep the Christ in Christmas and they will never pass up an opportunity to needle the ever-living shit out of Starbucks; just like the inferior, little brother product that they are. I can totally see the CEO of DD holding the cup right in front of the Starbucks CEO’s face saying, “I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you,” until it gets swatted away and he goes running off to tell Mom. I bet the garbage people who line up in the morning to get their Extra/Extra with an extra styrofoam cup will love this new cup, as it will distract that from noticing they have lost circulation to their left foot and it will soon need to be amputated.
It is 2015 everybody and we argue over holiday cups. FML.