Packie Posts

Bacon’s Rebuttal: The Sun More Likely To Give You Cancer, Your Car More Likely To Kill You

Bacon causes cancer?!? Pssshhhh, don’t care (Jay Cuter Voice). The radiation of the sun is still more likely to give you cancer. Does that mean you are gonna stop going outside? Lube up with SPF 50 every time the sun may hit your skin? Probably not, because how are you gonna get that base tan before you head to the Dominican Republic for Christmas and fry yourself silly?

You are far more likely to die in a car crash than eating bacon. Will you be trading in your Honda Accord for a pair of New Balances? Start making your morning commute on your mountain bike? I doubt you will because the risk is worth the reward. Shit, the very device you are probably reading this on will not only increase your likelihood of getting cancer, but will also make you prematurely blind. Not to mention that the headphones you use to in conjunction with it will make you prematurely deaf. I don’t see you dropping your phones and throwing out your laptops.

Newsflash: God hates you and wants you to die. You weren’t meant to live forever anyway. Be bold, eat bacon, enjoy your life. When the day comes to meet your maker, look him dead in the eye and say, “I chose Bacon.”


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