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Packie Posts

7 Ridiculous Sex Positions

When it comes to sex, I am willing to bet you have tried more than just the basic missionary position in the bedroom. I’m also willing to bet you have tried a few experimental positions also. However, sometimes a position looks so ridiculous that I think to myself “oh common! That doesn’t even look enjoyable!?  They just put it in the book to see if anyone will actually try it!” These are the most ridiculous and uncomfortable sex positions.

The Butter Churner

Damn that looks uncomfortable for the women. As a guy it seems fine. It’s like having a human stool to sit on while you “get busy” However, the women takes a lot of risk. Just look at this! If not careful, she could break her neck. I would love to hear the explanation in the ER.

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The Passion Propeller

The guy starts off in your basic missionary position and then does a 360 degree spin without removing his penis from the women?  Your kidding right! Challenge not accepted. That sounds like a disastrous transition where someone gets kicked in the head and my penis breaks.

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The Wheelbarrow 

Remember the G-rated version of this when you were in grade school & it didn’t involve sex. It involved racing people across a finish line.

Ah yes, the good old innocent days.

Ah yes, the good old innocent days.

It should have stayed that way! How long could you possibly hold this position for in the bedroom? You must be in great shape to pull this off. Otherwise, you are going to throw out your back or pull a muscle. Is this sex or a workout?

the-wheelbarrow

The Erotic Accordion

Whats up with the name of this? Does anyone find an accordion erotic? Was it ever? When I think of an accordion I think of something like this….

That’s to sexy for me. You better hold me back.

knee pain (check) lower back pain (check)

How can anyone possible stay excited in this position? No human over 30 could pull this off without hurting there knees or back!  Also, so my penis is tucked up somewhat between my legs since my legs are being bent back? This doesn’t sound fun at all.

Pair of Tongs

Just one look at this photo and you should already realize the potential for disaster. If the male hits the wrong spot while inside of her, that leg is going to jolt up and whack him in the nuts.

Pair-of-Tongs-Sex-Position

The Lap Limbo

If you want to have sex in a chair, that’s fine. Why would you think of adding to that by putting your legs up? Tumbling backwards legs over head is always a possibility.

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The Melody Maker

Whats up with the hands? Is this some type of joint prayer going on? Also, who doesn’t like some blood rushing to the head and neck cramps right?

melodymaker

The problem with a lot of positions is that a lot of them only work in a perfect world where  people have the same size, shape and everything lines up perfectly. That’s just not realistic at all!

-Adam Mallett

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  1. More Ridiculous Sex Positions – Part 2 | The Packie

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