Bacon Causes Cancer?!?

In the worst news ever, Bacon and other processed meats are carcinogenic. As if Mondays weren’t already the worst, this is the the absolutely most depressing news to start off your week. Just another one  of the many things not just I, but WE ALL love in this World that is killing us. Whiskey, beer, drugs and now bacon and sausages and lunch meats? Why would God even put such delicious things on this Earth if it were only to kill us?  Life is just one big Adam and Eve paradox, man. Tempted only to be tortured. This is getting filed in my “God Hates You and Wants You To Die,” evidence folder.

To be fair, the article goes on to state that you would have to eat the equivalent of seven pieces of bacon every day to incur an approximate 18% increase in what is already admittedly low rate of cancer. I kinda like those odds. Now that I know that is the line I can walk, I am pretty sure  I am not eating enough bacon and processed meats. On the plus side, according to a whole bunch of internet memes, marijuana cures cancer. Eat a couple bacon sandwiches, couple I-Talian submarine sandwiches, smoke a couple of doobers and *POOF* they counteract each other. Though, I can kinda see an roller coaster type effect of happening. Oh well, c’est la vie!


Twitter me: @GrimeBone

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