Allergen Free Dessert: Food For The Most Annoying People On Earth

Boston.com – Scientists at a Cambridge lab just introduced a new dessert, Incredible Perfectly Free Non-Dairy Frozen Bites, that is free from dairy, gluten, wheat, soy, fish, shellfish, egg, peanut, almond, and cashew, according to the product’s site.

Finally, a snack for those who have dodged the laws of Darwinism! In reality, these will be eaten less by your little nephew, Johnny, who will go into anaphylactic shock and die if he comes in contact with a bivalve and more by your Crossfitting cousin, Monica, who thinks it will fit in perfectly with her paleo diet (our ancient ancestors loved frozen desserts!). Ditto to all of your friends who have no problem asking for the gluten free menu at their local Applebees. They will also probably spend a long time convincing you that it doesn’t actually taste like a mixture of wheat paste, mangy dog hair and watered down, Sugar Free Hawaiian Punch that has been siphoned from the bottom of a municipal garbage can. Good luck with that shit. I’ll stick to the Ben and Jerry’s.

-GrimeBone

Follow on Twitter: @GrimeBone

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