The New York Mets defeated the Los Angeles Dodgers 3-2 last night in a decisive game 5 to move on to compete for a chance to represent the National League in the World Series. Pending free agent to be, Daniel Murphy, played the hero, providing the Mets with the go ahead home run in the top of the 6th along with his religious beliefs that prevent him from agreeing with your homosexual lifestyle. Encouraged by his play on the field, Mets fans in attendance at 1000 Elysian Way chanted “Re-sign Murphy, Re-sign, Murphy,” at the bigot because the New York Mets NEED a bat in the line up that has the intelligence of a tuba and thinks it’s not cool that two guys may have a good time doing butt stuff to each other.
Murphy celebrated in the least gay way possible. By slapping butts and hugging fellow male compatriots while hosing each other down on a OSHA sanctioned (gotta have those goggles), beer and California champagne bukkake slip and slide.