Best Sports Stories of 2013


Well, 2013 is coming to a close. Looking back, I had a great year. I hope all of you did as well. In sports there were many storylines that played out this year. These were some of the most memorable sports moments of 2013.

Mariano Rivera retires.

Rivera is without a doubt the greatest closer of all-time. He is a future first ballet Hall of Famer.(Look for him to get a high vote percent because he didn’t piss many people off) Everyone loves this guy. He even got his own farewell special on Fox! He always carried himself high. No matter how much you might hate the Yankees, you cannot hate Mariano. If you do, your the problem. I certainly won’t miss his cut fastball breaking the bats of red sox hitters though.

Jameis Winston wins the Heisman trophy

Winston became the second freshman in College Football history to win the award and is the youngest. (19) Not much else to say about that. It’s a huge accomplishment. Let’s hope he stays grounded and doesn’t let it go to his head. He has already found himself accused of rape. When that happens, it’s usually only a couple of years before the assault charges start stacking up and your caught with an unlicensed firearm.

Serena Williams rules the Tennis world

Jesus christ! What happened to this women? Is she even a women anymore!? Her quad muscles are about the size of my head. I think she should replace The Hulk in the next Avengers movie. Williams went 78-4 with 11 titles in 2013. She has one of the fastest serves for a women. (129 mph) Take that, you petite little Slavic blonds!

Nobody gets into the Baseball Hall of Fame

For just the third time since 1960, nobody got voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. You need 75% of the votes. The highest vote getter was Craig Biggio with 68%. I think it’s hilarious! Nothing like a good steroid scandal to tarnish a legacy. Roger Clemens..nope! (37.6%) Barry Bonds..nope! (36.2%) Sammy Sosa…nope! (12.5%) I’m sure some of these guys like Clemens will eventually get in somehow. However, with some of these guys being so obsessed with there own legacy’s, it’s hilarious to think that deep down Roger Clemens is crying like a teenage girl.

Aaron Hernandez has a killer summer.

The now former New England Patriots tight end has been accused of murdering a wannabe football player named Odin Lloyd. Right now he is still rotting in a jail cell awaiting trial. The evidence points laughably at Hernandez as the killer. When you intentionally destroy your home security system, rent a car & hire a team of house keepers the day Lloyds body was found..yaaaa things don’t look so good.

A-Rod and Ryan Braun look like jackasses

A-roid looking like an idiot is nothing new, He is still kicking and screaming in court trying to fight off a major suspension, but Ryan Braun? The Brewer was suspended for 65 games for his connection to Biogenesis. That’s not what makes him an asshole though. This is the second time Braun had been caught. The first time his suspension was overturned. Braun gave a great speech about how the charges were bullshit. It also turns out, in his attempt to gain player support, he claimed the guy who took his sample was an anti-Semite (Braun is Jewish) Nothing annoys me more than when someone cries ‘hate!” when it isn’t true, but also using it as a weapon for personal gain or support. It makes me sick. So when Braun tested positive again and was suspended it made him look even more of an idiot. A full apology tour was put into motion.

Lance Armstrong becomes the most hated man with one testicle.

Joining Ryan Braun in the cheating ring is Lance Armstrong. He confessed to Oprah that he used PHD’s to help him win the Tour de France for seven years from 1999-2005. He first perjured himself in 2005 and denied it, but then several people came forward and said Armstrong did cheat. Armstrong was left with no choice but to come forward. He was stripped of his titles and his own charity organization that he started dropped him.

Nobody will hire Tim Tebow

Finally the NFL came to terms with what everybody already knew, Tim Tebow sucks. The Patriots cut him and despite a failed attempt from Jaguars fans petitioning the White House to force the team into signing him, nobody wanted him. Since then, he has had offers from other leagues but will only play in the NFL. He just accepted a broadcast offer from ESPN and said he still dreams of playing for an NFL team someday…yaaa keep dreaming Tim.

Richie Incognito bullied Jonathan Martin so Martin says “I’m telling”

I really can go both ways with this story. Yes, Incognito is an idiot. Yes, he texted Martin racist horrible things and took things a little to far. However, do you think things like this NEVER happen when a bunch of Neanderthals are in a locker room? Hell no! I’m sure it’s more common than people think, but nobody would run, tattle and leave there team behind like a cry baby. Gosh! this country is getting soft when a NFL player feels bullied. Everyone knows I can’t stand Brett Farve, but his initial reaction to the story is perfect “You have to be kidding me? Pro Football bullying?” He continued “I’m not defending or condoning. All I’m saying is my initial reaction was a grown man who is 320 pounds is getting bullied?” Well put Brett.

With 2013 just about over. I can only hope 2014 has more great story lines to follow. That being said, have a great 2014 everybody!

Adam Mallett

About whirlwind (262 Articles)
Movie Reviews and non P.C. takes on ridiculous stories from around the world.

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